Epiphany

Isn’t it funny how at the most random times you think of something that completely changes your perspective on life? This very thing happened tonight, while, oddly enough, I was taking a shower. My major epiphany dealt with how I deal with people. I have this habit of blaming myself whenever one of my friends is in a bad mood or mad. Even if it doesn’t have anything to do with me, I find a way to blame myself or think that it’s my fault. I really hate this about myself and feel that it might eventually ruin one of my relationships. I’ve never really understood what made me start doing this, until tonight. Several years ago, one of my friends and I fought all of the time, and I was always the one to apologize. Even if things weren’t my fault, she always made me feel like they were and always made me feel like I was doing something wrong. If anyone went through this for a long enough period of time, they would eventually start blaming themselves for everything and apologizing even when they shouldn’t. I feel that maybe, now that I know what caused this behavior, I can start to fix it and realize that true friends will let me know if something’s wrong, and that I am not always to blame for everything. In actuality, when two people argue, usually both people are at fault and both should apologize. When just one person apologizes all the time, it’s not a true friendship or relationship. I’m so glad that I figured all of this out, so that maybe I can start being a better best friend to the people I care about the most.