The Bucket List

This summer, I decided to create a bucket list. After compiling a list of things I want to do during my life, I wrote them down on a sheet of construction paper to keep in my room at all times. Also, I decided to post it up here so that I can always remind myself of my dreams. Some of these are serious and some are silly, but here goes nothing...

Become less shy. Be a better person to the people around me. Stop biting my nails. Have fun without regrets. Move on and forget about him. Forgive and forget. Go to New York. Go to Los Angeles. Get over my fears. Find the perfect (for me) guy. Be kissed in the rain. Reach my goal weight/figure. Find true friends. Get a tattoo. Gain confidence. Fall in love. Have a Harry Potter movie marathon. Spend a night at the beach. Graduate from college. Be a stronger person. Kiss someone on New Year's Eve. Have friends forever. Go to a Taylor Swift concert. Go to a Selena Gomez concert. Have a flatter stomach. Smile more. Be more organized. Learn how to cook. Go to Greece. Have a long-lasting relationship. Stop being insecure. Learn to take criticism better. Have a road trip with friends. Accept myself. Find the love of my life. Feel beautiful always. Go to Italy. Not care what people think of me. Text less, talk more. Get a dream catcher. Spend less money. Prove everyone wrong. Find a four leaf clover. Get my own apartment. Become less awkward. Have someone think I'm beautiful when I'm a hot mess. Have a Valentine. Stop being so hard on myself. Have a food fight. Learn how to love. Buy an iPad or iPod touch. Become a better artist. Stop holding back. See the northern lights. Be defined as "gorgeous." Make unforgettable memories. Respect myself and my body. Love without fear. Party all night. Kiss under fireworks. Feel pretty without makeup on. Keep my best friends. Go to San Francisco. Find myself. Stop over-thinking. Put the past behind me. Go zip lining. Have a better relationship with God. Make a difference. Cuddle with someone the whole day. Go on a perfect date. Write a book. Swim with dolphins. Beat my depression. Stop procrastinating. Become even closer to my best friends. Learn to sing better. Have a paint war. Stop being afraid of the future. Have a walk-in closet. Be someone's inspiration. Fix my self-esteem. Live with no regrets.

Look, act, think, work.

"Look like a girl, act like a lady, think like a man, work like a boss."

This quote has become my mantra over the last few weeks. Personally, I've never been particularly girly. Don't get me wrong: I love dressing up at times, but only every so often. I'm more comfortable in t-shirts and jeans, lounging around the house. I'm not scared to break a nail or get dirty. I believe in looking like a girl, because I'm only nineteen years old. I'm not going to try to act way older than I am and I'm not going to wear super baggy clothes. I'm going to look like a nineteen year old college student, but I'm going to act like a lady, insomuch as I can. I've never been very ladylike and prissy. I try to watch what I say however and act polite in everything I do. I was raised in the South after all! Thinking like a man is the tricky part. Don't over-think mess. Don't see connections where there are none. Just live in the moment. I'm going to work like a boss in whatever I do. Work hard, but work smart. Be a leader in whatever you do.

I'm doing my best to be a strong, resourceful woman. I might be a long way from it, but I'm getting closer every day.

One Year

I barely recognize her.
The hair color is the same and so are the eyes.
She is essentially the same person, yet she isn't.

She hid her opinions so that people would like her.
Always scared of rejection and being turned away.
Bruised and broken, she limped through life, hiding her eyes and clinging to shadows.

Now, it's all about the light and living in the right now.
Yes, bad things happen but we have to move on.
Change is scary, but I meet it head-on.
I've learned my limits and how people can deceive.

When I look in the mirror, I don't see that hollow-eyed girl anymore.
I don't recognize her in myself unless I look deep.
It's funny what a difference a year can make.

Better Than You

You always claimed that you were always on my side.
But I found out differently.

It's fairly easy to fake emotions and feelings especially when you need that person.
What you have to look for is the person whose actions and words coincide.
The person who will go out of their way for you and who cares about you when miles separate you.

Don't worry about me.
I found someone better than you.

100.

Warning: This is a really long, sporadic blog entry that doesn't quite live up to the title. My apologies in advance.

Okay this is going to be 100 things about me...but not the stupid things like "I'm Kristen Martin. I'm nineteen." No, this is going to be 100 random, crazy things about myself. Sometimes they might be stupid; but it's my blog, I write what I want. Which brings us to...1) I have an attitude. A massive one that sometimes I just let run its course. 2)I never thought I would want an Android phone. Blackberry, pshh. This Aviator is like a whole new world compared to my old Blackberry. 3)My tastes in music, movies and TV shows can be weird and all over the place. 4) Books are my drug. Get me a book and I will always love you. Screw one of my books up...hell hath no fury. 5) Never had an interest in tobacco or smoking. Ever. 6) I want to be a princess. Where's my tiara? 7) I don't want to be aloneeeeeee. 8) Lifetime movies are so not my thing. "My husband cheated on me." "My neighbor's a psycho." Been there, done that. 9) Procrastination. My picture is next to that word in the dictionary. 10) Ra ra ooh lala. Random songs. 11) Restraining myself from smacking people is one of my new talents. 12) What if I wrote a novel about my life, expose-style? Awesome sauce. 13) I can't say Florida correctly. 14) I like my friends more than some of my family. 15) I'm scared to death of losing my friends. 16) I've never dyed or highlighted my hair...but I've wanted to. 17) When I was little, I would have died to be a redhead. 18) DISNEYYY. 19) I want a fairy tale. 20) No, I want something real. 21)I used to hate pink, but my comforter is now pink. Twist of fate. 22) ZEBRA! I'm obsessed. 23) I wanted a tiger as a pet...then I saw The Hangover. Still wanted a tiger as a pet. 24) Channing Tatum is the hottest guy ever. 25) I never realized 100 was soooo far away. 26) My heart is purple and gold, I'm a pirate down to my soul. 27) Piracy is no big deal. 28) See what I did there? 29) I want a two story house. 30) DVR is my new best friend. 31) Animal commercials get to me. 32) I forget more things than I remember. 33) Overdramatic? Yes, I am. 34) I hate mornings. With a passion. 35). I can't do this anymore. 100 things is a really long list. So....my list is 100 things about me subtract sixty-four.

I CAN'T FINISH WHAT I STARTTTTT.

Definition: Pirate

According to dictionary.com, a pirate is "a person who robs or commits illegal violence at sea or on the shores of the sea." However, if you ask any East Carolinian, a Pirate is the best thing you could be. East Carolina Pirates are the best of both worlds: We know how to party, but we also have some of the best academic programs in not only the state, but the country. On crisp fall Saturdays, you'll find Pirates flooding Dowdy Ficklen Stadium, screaming and cheering. The Pirates' "ship," which is the campus, is one of the prettiest and friendliest you'll ever find. That's the thing I love about East Carolina: you instantly feel at home as soon as you step onto the campus. Becoming a Pirate was, by far, the best decision of my life. Not only am I studying the subject that I love with some of the best professors, but I also got to meet people who completely changed my life. I know that people say Disneyland is the happiest and best place on Earth, but it can't compare to ECU's gorgeous Mall, beautiful brick buildings, and inviting atmosphere. I'm truly a Pirate down to soul and I will always bleed purple and gold.